Fall is quite possibly my favorite time of year, especially in Michigan. Colorado had a beautiful fall too, but it literally pales in comparison to the colors of a Michigan autumn. I’m pretty sure that if and when I leave Michigan, one of the things I will miss the most about the area is the fall. The weather that is cool enough for a comfy sweater, but still warm enough to be able to go outside and do any summer activity as well. And as all the harvest activities start, there are hayrides and apple cider or hot chocolate around a warming bonfire. Cornmazes and pumpkin patches, leaf piles and trick or treaters. The amazing color display of leaves through the huge trees in the region; vibrant reds and oranges with splashes of yellow. I drive the long back way to my church this time of year purely so I can enjoy the beautiful painting God has laid out so perfectly. And the awe-inspiring sunrises that God gives right when I’m driving into work this time of the year. During the summer, I get to drive to work at 7am and the sun is already up, I head home and the sun doesn’t go down until late. During the winter, the sun comes up after I’m already at work and is down before I leave work…talk about depressing. But during the fall, I get a sunrise each morning with enough light in the evening to feel like I haven’t lost the entire day, followed by a warm nightfall that tends to be a lot clearer than the rest of the year so that the stars can be seen shining brightly. My favorite!
I could go on, but really I just needed to express the bursting my heart feels this time of the year, and after sitting in my car staring at the sunrise for a while this morning, it couldn’t be contained anymore!
"By the word of the LORD were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of His mouth.
He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;
He puts the deep into storehouses."
Psalm 33:6-7
"The day is Yours, and Yours also the night;
You established the sun and moon.
It was You who set all the boundaries of the earth;
You made both summer and winter."
Psalm 74:16-17
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Once More With Feeling
I am up at 5 in the morning in Charleston. In reality, I've been up since 4am. Although this may not be such an oddity at home, it is here. I'm back for my grandparents 50th anniversary, where my mom's side of the family is having somewhat of a reunion get-together as this side tends to be hermits and doesn't get together yearly the way my dad's side loves to do. Its been quite the hullabaloo getting everyone together, not the least of those being my sister. She has been especially unreliable lately now that she has her fiance and avoids talking or seeing the family as much as possible often. She told us weeks ago that he and she would both be gracing us with their presence out here, with no further details. She then informed us that they'd be getting their own hotel and rental car since family wasn't "ok" with them staying in the same room together. I then got to Charleston and found out that family didn't even know she was bringing him along. Then, as we tried to get details from her to know when she would be in, she started giving the go-around, telling us that he had reserved the flights and that she didn't know the details, she'd have to tell us later. After two days of calling and texting her continuously and being ignored, she finally emailed my mom today and told her that he and she would be flying into another town two hours away and would drive down with a rental car. Mind you, neither of them have credit cards or anything, so we're not sure how they expected to get a rental car. Not our problem when they're two hours away. And if that weren't fun enough, that's just about when the real fun started.
She then called me this morning at 4am in a panic to tell me that she found out he lied about the whole thing; he never got tickets, he was just telling her he did to make her happy, but they weren't actually going. I have no idea what the real story is, she has become such a pathological liar that we never know what is truth and what isn't. So I ended up getting up and scrambling to find a ticket for her so that she could still come out here. It leaves out of Denver at 7am. I might murder her and never talk to her again if she doesn't make the flight, which sounds like a distinct possibility because they keep doing other things (like stopping to put minutes on her phone or get cigarettes). And then she threw a fit at me when I told her it meant she was here until Tuesday, and that I shouldn't have booked the flight until she was on the road to the airport. I'm not quite sure why I even bothered to go out of my way to get her a ticket, I almost feel like I should have just let her stew and suffer rather than save her again when she keeps making mistakes.
Every time I'm around my family, I have a renewed realization that they make me an angrier person. They get so angry on the road, or make fun of people or handle things in not the best way, it sets me off or makes me boil. I prayed a good amount tonight for strength to handle these situations better; so it seems of course God gave me the opportunity to handle it better with a call at 4am. It's a struggle. I feel like screaming and letting out a lot of pent-up feelings right now. It's hard to have strength and patience and love when it's continually tried. I guess this is just calling for more 6am prayer now. Lots of prayer that she makes her flights and I don't take it out on her for the rest of the weekend...
She then called me this morning at 4am in a panic to tell me that she found out he lied about the whole thing; he never got tickets, he was just telling her he did to make her happy, but they weren't actually going. I have no idea what the real story is, she has become such a pathological liar that we never know what is truth and what isn't. So I ended up getting up and scrambling to find a ticket for her so that she could still come out here. It leaves out of Denver at 7am. I might murder her and never talk to her again if she doesn't make the flight, which sounds like a distinct possibility because they keep doing other things (like stopping to put minutes on her phone or get cigarettes). And then she threw a fit at me when I told her it meant she was here until Tuesday, and that I shouldn't have booked the flight until she was on the road to the airport. I'm not quite sure why I even bothered to go out of my way to get her a ticket, I almost feel like I should have just let her stew and suffer rather than save her again when she keeps making mistakes.
Every time I'm around my family, I have a renewed realization that they make me an angrier person. They get so angry on the road, or make fun of people or handle things in not the best way, it sets me off or makes me boil. I prayed a good amount tonight for strength to handle these situations better; so it seems of course God gave me the opportunity to handle it better with a call at 4am. It's a struggle. I feel like screaming and letting out a lot of pent-up feelings right now. It's hard to have strength and patience and love when it's continually tried. I guess this is just calling for more 6am prayer now. Lots of prayer that she makes her flights and I don't take it out on her for the rest of the weekend...
Friday, August 7, 2009
Darkness with no Light
Darkness is present when there is an absence of light. If you are in darkness proclaiming to be bringing the light, something isn't right.
Detroit, MI has more churches per capita than any other U.S. city. And yet it is one of the darkest cities in the country. Something isn't right.
~paraphrased from Harvey Carey's speech at the Leadership Summit this year (from the 15 minutes that I actually attended haha)
Detroit, MI has more churches per capita than any other U.S. city. And yet it is one of the darkest cities in the country. Something isn't right.
~paraphrased from Harvey Carey's speech at the Leadership Summit this year (from the 15 minutes that I actually attended haha)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Rise and Shine and Give God the Glory, Glory!
Summer is already wrapping up, the days are cooling down, and somehow August has snuck up on me. I'm not quite sure how this happened or where the time went, but I don't feel like I've gotten to enjoy my summer nearly as much as summers past. I had plenty going on, which may have been part of what made it fly by. Whatever the reason, I'd prefer God rewind just a little bit and bring some more warm weather.
So I'm all done with weddings for now. Don't see any in the near future, though my sister got engaged a couple of weeks ago. I'm concerned about that; she's only been dating the guy since February, and he has already cheated on her. My brother was telling me that she doesn't treat him the best either, and that they go back and forth a lot and tend to bring out the immaturity in each other. My family isn't a fan of him, though they'll support her through whatever decision she makes. One good thing in it is that when she said yes, she gave him the condition that the date had to be at least a year out so that they could take real premarital counseling (not just the weekend type) so that they could work through some of the issues they have before entering into a marital relationship. I'm proud of her for at least having some head on her shoulder through this, because I know she gets caught up into things and carried away often. All I can do is pray for her and her decisions. Speaking of which, I suddenly feel like I don't pray for my family enough. I pray for them just in the sense that they're my family and I love them, but none of them are Christians, and I feel like I should be praying constantly for them to actually find God. I think about it a lot, but I don't think I lift it up to God as much as I should be. Something I would like to work on.
I also had the opportunity to go on the Xtreeme camping trip this past weekend. Xtreeme is the high school youth group at our church, and I'm going to be one of the leaders this year! I'm very excited, as I'm sure anyone around me lately could tell you since I keep talking about it. The camping trip was amazing. First of all, let me prefice by saying that I didn't plan on going on this trip...when I first heard about it in June when I had openly expressed my interest in helping out with Xtreeme this coming year, I really wanted to go because I love camping, but it required taking two days off of work, and I had no idea what my schedule would be looking like since I was told I'd be starting shiftwork sometime in August (turns out it'll be Aug 31st). I was also unable to make it to the planning meeting the week before the trip because I was gone for a wedding. So I chalked it up as I wasn't supposed to be going and let it go. But then Pastor Jeff text messaged me Tuesday or Wednesday last week asking me if I'd be interested in going with them. I knew I really wanted to, and I knew I had the vacation time, so I juggled meetings and got them moved around, cleared my schedule, and told him I'd go! I then started preparing myself to be patient because I know P.J. isn't a huge planner; he would much rather wing it, come what may then set a schedule for something. This is a huge clash for a person like me who likes planning things out and ensuring there is a time and place for everything. I didn't know where we were even going until we were on the road and I asked him. He had some tentative plans for the weekend, but figured we'd just make it up as we go. Luckily he had one of the moms pack all of the food, so that was planned out at the very least, but otherwise, we just winged the weekend. It was an open opportunity to practice patience and not let my nature get the best of me. It also made for a very relaxing weekend, making it feel like a nice mini vacation, which was nice after having the stress of all of the weddings plus work non-stop for the previous month.
Anyway, like I said, the trip was amazing. That group of kids are exceptional, it was so much fun to get to know them. I'm happy that I had the opportunity to get to know them and connect before Xtreeme actually starts and activities are non-stop, it was nice to have the weekend to sit around on the beach or around the campfire and chat with each of them at some point in the four days. It was also so cool to me to see how real most of their faiths are. They were really on fire about living out Jesus's example and telling their friends about him and keeping each other accountable. And the fact that it was such a wide mix of students, you had all the normal high school genres... cheerleader, nerd, geeks, jocks, hard rockers, and freshman through seniors were all represented. And they all got along; not just making it through the weekend without drama by avoiding each other, but everyone actually talked and hung out and got along with each other. I realize it may be different at school, but I was impressed to see that they didn't let those things come between them in any way on this trip. The coolest conversation I was a part of during the weekend was Monday night when one of the girls was texting a guy she has a crush on who is not Christian. She was trying to figure out how she is supposed to handle a situation like that, and 3 guys rallied around her and were coaching her through why it's important to be with Christians (one guy started rattling off all sorts of verses about being unequally yoked for her!), and how she could bring up the conversation with the guy. She ended up bringing it up somewhat over texts, so they were coaching her about what to say, what his responses meant according to the male mind, and just generally encouraging her about the whole situation while really working on keeping her accountable. I was very impressed with them, and I'm really excited to work with them this year and keep pushing them to stay on that path.
Ok, I'm done going on and on now. At least you've avoided my rant in person (unless you haven't, then you got to hear it twice haha!) I'll just leave you with Xtreeme's verse (X-Tree-Me...Jesus died on a tree for me!)
"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." -1 Peter 2:24
So I'm all done with weddings for now. Don't see any in the near future, though my sister got engaged a couple of weeks ago. I'm concerned about that; she's only been dating the guy since February, and he has already cheated on her. My brother was telling me that she doesn't treat him the best either, and that they go back and forth a lot and tend to bring out the immaturity in each other. My family isn't a fan of him, though they'll support her through whatever decision she makes. One good thing in it is that when she said yes, she gave him the condition that the date had to be at least a year out so that they could take real premarital counseling (not just the weekend type) so that they could work through some of the issues they have before entering into a marital relationship. I'm proud of her for at least having some head on her shoulder through this, because I know she gets caught up into things and carried away often. All I can do is pray for her and her decisions. Speaking of which, I suddenly feel like I don't pray for my family enough. I pray for them just in the sense that they're my family and I love them, but none of them are Christians, and I feel like I should be praying constantly for them to actually find God. I think about it a lot, but I don't think I lift it up to God as much as I should be. Something I would like to work on.
I also had the opportunity to go on the Xtreeme camping trip this past weekend. Xtreeme is the high school youth group at our church, and I'm going to be one of the leaders this year! I'm very excited, as I'm sure anyone around me lately could tell you since I keep talking about it. The camping trip was amazing. First of all, let me prefice by saying that I didn't plan on going on this trip...when I first heard about it in June when I had openly expressed my interest in helping out with Xtreeme this coming year, I really wanted to go because I love camping, but it required taking two days off of work, and I had no idea what my schedule would be looking like since I was told I'd be starting shiftwork sometime in August (turns out it'll be Aug 31st). I was also unable to make it to the planning meeting the week before the trip because I was gone for a wedding. So I chalked it up as I wasn't supposed to be going and let it go. But then Pastor Jeff text messaged me Tuesday or Wednesday last week asking me if I'd be interested in going with them. I knew I really wanted to, and I knew I had the vacation time, so I juggled meetings and got them moved around, cleared my schedule, and told him I'd go! I then started preparing myself to be patient because I know P.J. isn't a huge planner; he would much rather wing it, come what may then set a schedule for something. This is a huge clash for a person like me who likes planning things out and ensuring there is a time and place for everything. I didn't know where we were even going until we were on the road and I asked him. He had some tentative plans for the weekend, but figured we'd just make it up as we go. Luckily he had one of the moms pack all of the food, so that was planned out at the very least, but otherwise, we just winged the weekend. It was an open opportunity to practice patience and not let my nature get the best of me. It also made for a very relaxing weekend, making it feel like a nice mini vacation, which was nice after having the stress of all of the weddings plus work non-stop for the previous month.
Anyway, like I said, the trip was amazing. That group of kids are exceptional, it was so much fun to get to know them. I'm happy that I had the opportunity to get to know them and connect before Xtreeme actually starts and activities are non-stop, it was nice to have the weekend to sit around on the beach or around the campfire and chat with each of them at some point in the four days. It was also so cool to me to see how real most of their faiths are. They were really on fire about living out Jesus's example and telling their friends about him and keeping each other accountable. And the fact that it was such a wide mix of students, you had all the normal high school genres... cheerleader, nerd, geeks, jocks, hard rockers, and freshman through seniors were all represented. And they all got along; not just making it through the weekend without drama by avoiding each other, but everyone actually talked and hung out and got along with each other. I realize it may be different at school, but I was impressed to see that they didn't let those things come between them in any way on this trip. The coolest conversation I was a part of during the weekend was Monday night when one of the girls was texting a guy she has a crush on who is not Christian. She was trying to figure out how she is supposed to handle a situation like that, and 3 guys rallied around her and were coaching her through why it's important to be with Christians (one guy started rattling off all sorts of verses about being unequally yoked for her!), and how she could bring up the conversation with the guy. She ended up bringing it up somewhat over texts, so they were coaching her about what to say, what his responses meant according to the male mind, and just generally encouraging her about the whole situation while really working on keeping her accountable. I was very impressed with them, and I'm really excited to work with them this year and keep pushing them to stay on that path.
Ok, I'm done going on and on now. At least you've avoided my rant in person (unless you haven't, then you got to hear it twice haha!) I'll just leave you with Xtreeme's verse (X-Tree-Me...Jesus died on a tree for me!)
"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." -1 Peter 2:24
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Zzz
I'm dying of lack of sleep currently. I got back Sunday night from my friend Sarah's wedding in California... I headed out there Tuesday, and we spent the entire week running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to finish last minute details and get everything organized. It was exhausting, especially considering we weren't getting to bed until around 11pm each night, which is 2am Eastern time, my time. I'm usually in bed by 10pm! Of course, we still got up at 6am each morning. Everything went swimmingly though, it was a beautiful wedding, and it's the coolest thing to see such a Godly relationship where everything they do is centered around discerning God's will for their lives and relationship.
Christina had an interview for a job opportunity up here Monday, so she ended up flying in at the exact time I did Sunday night. The girl doesn't sleep either, which meant I didn't get to fall asleep until around midnight, still to get up at 6am (now Eastern time!) for work. I ended up leaving work early to take a nap before she finished her interviews because I was so dead on my feet... I conked out for 3 hours until she called me. We then got some GTPC, watched some Bachelorette, and got to bed around 11pm, only to get up at 4am to get her to the airport to take the shuttle back to Texas. Someday, I'll actually sleep again. Until that day, I will be a walking zombie.
I'm finishing reading The Shack currently. I found the book very interesting with some intriguing topics. In it, a father loses his young daughter to a child predator, and years later God calls on the man to build a relationship once more after turning his back on God after the tragedy. The man actually spends a weekend with the Trinity, 3 distinct personas in one, and is engaged in conversations. The author showed God as a big booming black lady that the guy called "Papa"... the pure reason behind this was to help the guy get over his view that God is an old man with a white beard, like Gandolf, and to help him understand that God transcends gender and is beyond what we comprehend him to be. I found that very thought-provoking, though I know it has been blasted by some. I'm about 20 pages from the end, and I've enjoyed the book, though I really feel like there are quite a few things I don't agree with too and can see why pastors have recommended not reading it. God describes himself (or herself?) as submitted to the human race, and that He makes no judgment on humans at all, and he says authority is something humans have a need for, and that in truth He has no authority besides what humans decide to perceive He has. Although I enjoyed it, I don't think I'd recommend it and could see it being misleading. The real Book is better anyway.
More coffee is needed this early in the morning.
Christina had an interview for a job opportunity up here Monday, so she ended up flying in at the exact time I did Sunday night. The girl doesn't sleep either, which meant I didn't get to fall asleep until around midnight, still to get up at 6am (now Eastern time!) for work. I ended up leaving work early to take a nap before she finished her interviews because I was so dead on my feet... I conked out for 3 hours until she called me. We then got some GTPC, watched some Bachelorette, and got to bed around 11pm, only to get up at 4am to get her to the airport to take the shuttle back to Texas. Someday, I'll actually sleep again. Until that day, I will be a walking zombie.
I'm finishing reading The Shack currently. I found the book very interesting with some intriguing topics. In it, a father loses his young daughter to a child predator, and years later God calls on the man to build a relationship once more after turning his back on God after the tragedy. The man actually spends a weekend with the Trinity, 3 distinct personas in one, and is engaged in conversations. The author showed God as a big booming black lady that the guy called "Papa"... the pure reason behind this was to help the guy get over his view that God is an old man with a white beard, like Gandolf, and to help him understand that God transcends gender and is beyond what we comprehend him to be. I found that very thought-provoking, though I know it has been blasted by some. I'm about 20 pages from the end, and I've enjoyed the book, though I really feel like there are quite a few things I don't agree with too and can see why pastors have recommended not reading it. God describes himself (or herself?) as submitted to the human race, and that He makes no judgment on humans at all, and he says authority is something humans have a need for, and that in truth He has no authority besides what humans decide to perceive He has. Although I enjoyed it, I don't think I'd recommend it and could see it being misleading. The real Book is better anyway.
More coffee is needed this early in the morning.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Note to self...Don't go trail biking within a week of my wedding.
Since I'm sitting in the Atlanta airport with nothing better to do for the next couple of hours, it seems like the best time to be blogging. I have gotten through the first of 6 weddings I have been invited to that are occurring in about a one month period. Apparently they all had the same good idea of when they wanted to get married. Unfortunately, I'm only able to actually attend 4 of them, but that includes this one in Atlanta and my best friend Sarah's in L.A., of which I am the maid of honor. Basically, that comes down to meaning I am spending A LOT of money on other people this summer. A lot. Which means I'm not spending money on any vacation this year... which means I have lots of vacation time to use without spending money. Oh the woes of life!
I've been working hard at trying to be more active lately. I got new running shoes and nice moisture-removing socks so that I could start running again without getting massive blisters...but I have yet to do that. However, I am on a softball team, I play tennis most weeks, volleyball on Sundays... and I've convinced Jen that we need to start bike riding, which I'm excited about. We started this week, going to do some trail biking out in City Forest since we had hiked through there and saw some amazing biking trails. Yeah... that turned out to be more of a nightmare than we expected. It was a lot of fun, but it was definitely not a beginners trail... which meant that Jen flew over her bike once, rode into the forest at another point, and I ran into several trees. We left bruised up, and my legs had scratches up and down them....not a big deal until you have to wear skirts for the next couple of days for wedding events. I'll just have to remember to avoid things like that before my own wedding someday!
In other news, I have ADD and can't focus on blogging right now. I'm listening to the news as they discuss everything going on in Iran, and everytime they say where their sources are coming from, it is from Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. Ironic that these websites set up basically for social aspects are now the source of breaking world news. Congress also apparently has already written up a proposal for taking over healthcare and making it government-run and is trying to fasttrack it through the House and Senate. I must say, it is a little scary how quickly the Obama administration has changed things in the 5 months they've been in power. At this rate, we'll be a socialist country within a year. Maybe not, but it is a little ridiculous that they decided to step into the free market and instead of letting companies that needed to go bankrupt and reorganize to be able to, they took them over, and are now pushing extremely hard on the healthcare issue. I have quite a few opinions on a bunch of these issues...however, my phone just reminded me that at some point I have a plane to catch, so I will avoid a soap box and instead get ready to leave Southern accents behind. Especially since a group of 10 men decided they're going to have a team meeting right where I am sitting and are circling seats around me. A bit awkward to say the least.
I've been working hard at trying to be more active lately. I got new running shoes and nice moisture-removing socks so that I could start running again without getting massive blisters...but I have yet to do that. However, I am on a softball team, I play tennis most weeks, volleyball on Sundays... and I've convinced Jen that we need to start bike riding, which I'm excited about. We started this week, going to do some trail biking out in City Forest since we had hiked through there and saw some amazing biking trails. Yeah... that turned out to be more of a nightmare than we expected. It was a lot of fun, but it was definitely not a beginners trail... which meant that Jen flew over her bike once, rode into the forest at another point, and I ran into several trees. We left bruised up, and my legs had scratches up and down them....not a big deal until you have to wear skirts for the next couple of days for wedding events. I'll just have to remember to avoid things like that before my own wedding someday!
In other news, I have ADD and can't focus on blogging right now. I'm listening to the news as they discuss everything going on in Iran, and everytime they say where their sources are coming from, it is from Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. Ironic that these websites set up basically for social aspects are now the source of breaking world news. Congress also apparently has already written up a proposal for taking over healthcare and making it government-run and is trying to fasttrack it through the House and Senate. I must say, it is a little scary how quickly the Obama administration has changed things in the 5 months they've been in power. At this rate, we'll be a socialist country within a year. Maybe not, but it is a little ridiculous that they decided to step into the free market and instead of letting companies that needed to go bankrupt and reorganize to be able to, they took them over, and are now pushing extremely hard on the healthcare issue. I have quite a few opinions on a bunch of these issues...however, my phone just reminded me that at some point I have a plane to catch, so I will avoid a soap box and instead get ready to leave Southern accents behind. Especially since a group of 10 men decided they're going to have a team meeting right where I am sitting and are circling seats around me. A bit awkward to say the least.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I want my sister back.
My sister is doing another one of her winding dives. She just informed me that her boyfriend gave her a phone so that she can text and everything (her current phone is on my mom's plan, which is FREE for her, but my mom refuses to pay for her texting). This generous gesture of her boyfriends means she now has a phone that will be signed up for a plan under HER name where she gets unlimited everything for the low price of $50 a month! Um, how is that comparable to free? Apparently it's worth it to her to not be under my mom's 'harsh' rules. This is after I just found out a month ago that while she was in her year-and-a-half of no talking to family, disappearing in another town, working in a gas station and living on a friends floor, her then boyfriend did the same thing; oh-so-generously got her a phone and gave her her very own phone plan, which she quickly defaulted on and ended up owing hundreds of dollars that my dad just had to recently pay. Back down the rabbit hole.
My dad doesn't know how to handle it anymore, they keep fighting and she demands that he should be treating her as an equal and that it is her house too, yet she refuses to get a job and begin to pay back the couple thousand dollars she owes him, and she has already trashed the brand new car that my dad bought and let her start borrowing 3 months ago. In one argument, she told him she can't handle all of this and that she's still depressed and could commit suicide at any time. Although it's obvious it's just her trying to get under his skin and scare him enough to leave her alone, we're all still terrified that she's going to end up disappearing again and/or that she'll pull another suicide attempt for attention and accidently pull it off.
My dad is planning on telling Amber tonight that she has three weeks to get her act together and get another job for the summer or she has to move out of his house. He's calling my mom to talk about it and discuss options. He figures she can move in with my mom and give my mom the chance to work with her; I'm just worried she's going to decide she'll just move in with her boyfriend or something. From what Colin and her friends have been saying, this guy is controlling, has cheated on her and lied to her, and refuses to hang out with her friends, it always has to be him and her, and is just overall not the kind of guy she should be with. But she's swooning and head-over-heels. I'm afraid she's going down the road to getting married to a not-good guy because she doesn't want to be alone and hasn't seemed to care who that means she is with, which again would mean she'd disappear. Basically, my family and I are just scared for my little sister and her decisions currently, all I want to do is protect her and instead it feels like she's pushing further away again.
Please pray.
My dad doesn't know how to handle it anymore, they keep fighting and she demands that he should be treating her as an equal and that it is her house too, yet she refuses to get a job and begin to pay back the couple thousand dollars she owes him, and she has already trashed the brand new car that my dad bought and let her start borrowing 3 months ago. In one argument, she told him she can't handle all of this and that she's still depressed and could commit suicide at any time. Although it's obvious it's just her trying to get under his skin and scare him enough to leave her alone, we're all still terrified that she's going to end up disappearing again and/or that she'll pull another suicide attempt for attention and accidently pull it off.
My dad is planning on telling Amber tonight that she has three weeks to get her act together and get another job for the summer or she has to move out of his house. He's calling my mom to talk about it and discuss options. He figures she can move in with my mom and give my mom the chance to work with her; I'm just worried she's going to decide she'll just move in with her boyfriend or something. From what Colin and her friends have been saying, this guy is controlling, has cheated on her and lied to her, and refuses to hang out with her friends, it always has to be him and her, and is just overall not the kind of guy she should be with. But she's swooning and head-over-heels. I'm afraid she's going down the road to getting married to a not-good guy because she doesn't want to be alone and hasn't seemed to care who that means she is with, which again would mean she'd disappear. Basically, my family and I are just scared for my little sister and her decisions currently, all I want to do is protect her and instead it feels like she's pushing further away again.
Please pray.
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