Trials and Temptations

Trials

I'm struggling right now. I'm not happy with where I am, and I don't know that I want to be here anymore. Outside of my friends from work, I feel like my relationships aren't very true here- they're for the most part superficial and easily ignored to others. I've been struggling with this for a month now. In addition, work is currently going through layoffs. At first, I was not affected by these at all. But as time has progressed and the company has gotten into further trouble, it has become apparent that it is a very real possibility. That was made more real when I found out that a friend found out on Thursday that he will be laid off. It is becoming a scary reality.

In the midst of all of this though, God is speaking pretty clearly. We're studying James in church as well as small group. The topic has been trials and temptations. It seems like this has been what God has been saying to me at all angles, because the verses of the day that I've heard have been about this all week, and it has come from quite a few other places also.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3

It is definitely hard to find joy in trials. If my whole world is turned upside down and I am feeling completely lost, how am I supposed to be joyful? However, looking through some of the trials I've experienced in college and how God has worked His hand in my life, I know that He always has a plan, and that I will come out on the other side to where He wants me to be. Every trial has a lesson, and every trial is also an opportunity to be a testament to God and be a light to others. However, just because God puts us through trials doesn't mean we're going to come out of them shining; they require an active response from us.

Temptations

"But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death." James 1:14-15

Jeff has been a temptation to me since we broke up, because there are times when we start falling back into each other, allowing ourselves to tell each other we miss one another or saying I love you. I had it in my mind that it was the devil tempting me, but I'm pretty sure that it was in fact my own desire that I allowed to tempt me. Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes in his book "Temptation": "Satan does not fill us with hatred for God, but with forgetfulness of God." Reminds me of the Screwtape Letters. It is much easier to fall into temptation when you block God from your thoughts and focus on what you want.

"Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:16-17

The final point in James this past week shifts back to God's goodness and how, when we focus on Him and chase His good, temptations dissolve. Rather than always trying to fight away temptation and constantly work on battling it, our focus should be running after God in all things, and those temptations will naturally disappear. We must "refuse and remove" temptation, remove it from our lives...when it presents itself, don't battle it, but walk away from it and toward God. I've been working on this very actively, and though it can be hard when it comes again and again, I'm finding that God is teaching me to watch only Him, and with Him, I can overcome anything.