Avalanche

The rock has already fallen, the avalanche is about to start...there's no way to stop it. It's painful to watch, painful to be so close to it. I really just want to hide and protect him, but I'm not that person anymore, if I ever was. And everyone will find out regardless; it'll be a little too glaringly obvious. I feel somewhat lost as to God's purpose. I realize that He has a plan, that everything going on has a purpose regardless of mistakes made... but I still don't completely understand. I guess I have to be alright with never understanding though, because His purpose may not be for anything anytime soon. It just amazes and scares me that He could make a blessing out of a mistake. Even if he doesn't realize it's a blessing yet. He definitely won't feel like it is anytime soon. It really scares me.

I finally sat down and talked to one of the pastors about the situation. It felt good to finally talk to someone about it, to get things off my chest that have been suffocating me for weeks. It helped that he already knew the situation, so I didn't feel like I was spreading things that didn't necessarily concern me. He had some really good insight and advice, helped guide me on how to handle things.

I've typed about a dozen different things in this paragraph to say, but I've deleted all of them. I basically don't know how to end this post. So we'll bring it back to Scripture with the verse of the day...

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”- Isaiah 55:8-9