Restless

The restlessness I've been feeling has definitely been growing lately. Garrett led a discussion on anxiety in Small Church this weekend too, which actually tremendously increased my anxious feelings. I assume it's because God is preparing me for something, though I've begun realizing that that doesn't mean it will be anytime soon. I just feel like something is supposed to change, and I keep waiting for it to happen. Plus I'm watching everyone change around me. During House Church, it was brought up that Bruce is retiring from Dow Corning and taking the package they're offering, Karin is finishing her internship and leaving, Jon Fields is leaving for YWAM at the end of March, Shannon is putting her focus on Cambodia and the sex slave issue, and Jen just got back from her Russia mission trip. And I have nothing but restless feelings. It's really difficult sometimes to wait on God's timing. Maybe that is part of what this is.

I did get a call from Christina this weekend. Leadership in Texas has their eye on her, she's deemed fast track material. However, she has expressed the fact that she's not very happy down there, and they told her they were willing to move her to Midland if she felt she would be happier up here. She asked if it would be possible to have her friend in Midland moved down there. This coming from the fact that I had expressed to her that I had thought about moving to Texas, or putting my resume out and seeing what happened. However, I've thought about it quite a bit, and first, I feel like I wouldn't be transferred because of my own accomplishments, but because Dow loves my friend and therefore is willing to move me. I talked to my dad about that, and he said not to think of it that way because it gives me the opportunity to prove myself and puts me in contact with leadership down there instantly because they were willing to go out of their ways to put me in a position I want. But that leads me into my second reason. There is not a position in Texas I currently want. Mostly because the place I am in right now is the best opportunity I could have; I love my job, Ag is doing the best in the company, and there are a million opportunities for me here. I am not excited about jobs in Texas at all. I wondered if maybe this was the sign I keep waiting for God to flash in front of me, but the fact that I don't want to do it and that it hasn't even come up as a point of conversation again indicates to me that this isn't the next step. But it is a definite possibility if I want it to be.

I have realized that I can't complain too much...even if I'm waiting to figure out something that seems more permanent, in the interim, I wrote down my travel for the year and was quite surprised to see how much I'm really doing:
Feb: U.P. Michigan, California
April: Texas
May: Minnesota
June: Georgia
July: California
September: South Carolina

...That pretty much covers all sides of the country; so I guess I feel better knowing that I'm at least doing something...